I now understand why the Czech Republic is not a dominant world culture: huge numbers of the population have been maimed or killed trying to bathe/shower in their hotels. I held off writing this offering till this following morning of our arrival in Prague to allow my bruises healing time and muscles to un-cramp from my attempts at deciphering if you stand, squat, sit, rotate, roll or stand on one leg at the same time as you try not to flood the room or all vestiges of clothing or towels in the room. This, while all the time trying to control the shower head...I mean nozzle...spout...wand...gargoyle...torture probe. Not a pretty picture.
I have now gained some hands-on insight as to why the Communists were reputed to be mobsters using lethal and cruel forms of interrogation. I will go on record now to say that I considered turning in my Mom for a set of instructions or any type of relief from this European form of water boarding. Note: In all fairness, I was confident that IF I were to turn Ida loose on any radical group it is a safe bet that they would return her within 24 hours...OR she would have her own comedy hour or dirty (may I say raunchy) club gig. Anyone out there who knows her, knows what I'm talking about.
SPECIAL TRAVELER WARNINGS: To those of you (specifically Americans who are inexperienced with European culture) planning a european vacation, plan your bathroom strategy carefully, and take lots of cash.
First, as far as the hotel goes, do NOT plan on waiting till that very last moment to address that urge; you might just find that as you cross the threshold of the bathroom with your pants falling to your ankles (as example), that the europeans have a cruel sense of humor: there is no toilet. It's actually, imagine this, a bath room. Once this sobering realization computes and you strain to control the building urgency, somewhere in the recesses of your mind you recall a notation on a door with this curious term: WC, aka Water Closet. Now, for those of you who might be naive enough to have thought this might be the place offered to guests for that stash of refreshing Evian, stop: it is NOT that type of water to which they are referring!
TRAVEL STRATEGY TIP #1: check all "closets" carefully when entering your hotel room.
Second, when on the move (no pun intended) enjoying the sites, be very careful about entering what seems like an urban oasis: The Public Water Closet (or Rest Room).
TRAVEL TIP #2: Enter at your own risk. Do not let that line of people (many moving uncomfortably in place) waiting outside the entrance influence your decision. And...take in large denominations of the local currency. Yes, you must pay as you go. Visa is NOT, in fact, accepted everywhere. Now, this is a curious dilemma, as you will find that in some restaurants you might be offered a ticket to cover your "pay as you go" fee. I have not yet determined whether there are differing fees (or tickets) depending on your...let's just say #1 or #2...needs. Or, if time does not permit, will they offer you a refund. Add to this the challenge of trying to translate this exchange into a common language; the value of universal sign language in such situations cannot be over-estimated. If only one, the ONE VITAL Czech word to help in all the previous situations: Luska (Please) or Luuuuuuuuuska! (Pllllllllease!)
Travel Bonus: Given the right location and crowded plaza you might have your first chance to participate in that other favorite urban game: "Name that Odor."
Last: In all the brochures assisting with your visit to Prague and the Czech Republic, they are crystal clear in advice regarding the rental of motorized vehicles. The entire recommendation is comprised of four simple words in all caps and bold type: DO NOT RENT CARS. This marvelously charming city, unspoiled by the ravages of time and World War II, is reputed to be one of THE most dangerous places in the world (one publication referenced the universe) to drive a motorized vehicle. Warnings are posted, such as: "Drive at your own risk: we mean it." "Check that your insurance policy is paid in full, and is increased to maximum coverages; umbrella policies encouraged." "Carry large sums of cash, as arguing and negotiating a cash settlement in stopped traffic with an angry Czech seems to be a national sport." "Make sure you have told all family members that you will always love them."
TRAVEL TIP #3: In this part of the world you must 1) forget anything previously learned or memorized about 'safe following distances,' 2) that traffic signs and lights are placed merely as a suggestion, and 3) that driving is truly an up close and personal experience.
For emphasis (and relief) - (b)
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