"Czech points." PRT (Parenthesis Reading Time) 1:28

I now understand why the Czech Republic is not a dominant world culture: huge numbers of the population have been maimed or killed trying to bathe/shower in their hotels. I held off writing this offering till this following morning of our arrival in Prague to allow my bruises healing time and muscles to un-cramp from my attempts at deciphering if you stand, squat, sit, rotate, roll or stand on one leg at the same time as you try not to flood the room or all vestiges of clothing or towels in the room. This, while all the time trying to control the shower head...I mean nozzle...spout...wand...gargoyle...torture probe. Not a pretty picture.

I have now gained some hands-on insight as to why the Communists were reputed to be mobsters using lethal and cruel forms of interrogation. I will go on record now to say that I considered turning in my Mom for a set of instructions or any type of relief from this European form of water boarding. Note: In all fairness, I was confident that IF I were to turn Ida loose on any radical group it is a safe bet that they would return her within 24 hours...OR she would have her own comedy hour or dirty (may I say raunchy) club gig. Anyone out there who knows her, knows what I'm talking about.

SPECIAL TRAVELER WARNINGS: To those of you (specifically Americans who are inexperienced with European culture) planning a european vacation, plan your bathroom strategy carefully, and take lots of cash.

First, as far as the hotel goes, do NOT plan on waiting till that very last moment to address that urge; you might just find that as you cross the threshold of the bathroom with your pants falling to your ankles (as example), that the europeans have a cruel sense of humor: there is no toilet. It's actually, imagine this, a bath room. Once this sobering realization computes and you strain to control the building urgency, somewhere in the recesses of your mind you recall a notation on a door with this curious term: WC, aka Water Closet. Now, for those of you who might be naive enough to have thought this might be the place offered to guests for that stash of refreshing Evian, stop: it is NOT that type of water to which they are referring!

TRAVEL STRATEGY TIP #1: check all "closets" carefully when entering your hotel room.

Second, when on the move (no pun intended) enjoying the sites, be very careful about entering what seems like an urban oasis: The Public Water Closet (or Rest Room).

TRAVEL TIP #2: Enter at your own risk. Do not let that line of people (many moving uncomfortably in place) waiting outside the entrance influence your decision. And...take in large denominations of the local currency. Yes, you must pay as you go. Visa is NOT, in fact, accepted everywhere. Now, this is a curious dilemma, as you will find that in some restaurants you might be offered a ticket to cover your "pay as you go" fee. I have not yet determined whether there are differing fees (or tickets) depending on your...let's just say #1 or #2...needs. Or, if time does not permit, will they offer you a refund. Add to this the challenge of trying to translate this exchange into a common language; the value of universal sign language in such situations cannot be over-estimated. If only one, the ONE VITAL Czech word to help in all the previous situations: Luska (Please) or Luuuuuuuuuska! (Pllllllllease!)

Travel Bonus: Given the right location and crowded plaza you might have your first chance to participate in that other favorite urban game: "Name that Odor."

Last: In all the brochures assisting with your visit to Prague and the Czech Republic, they are crystal clear in advice regarding the rental of motorized vehicles. The entire recommendation is comprised of four simple words in all caps and bold type: DO NOT RENT CARS. This marvelously charming city, unspoiled by the ravages of time and World War II, is reputed to be one of THE most dangerous places in the world (one publication referenced the universe) to drive a motorized vehicle. Warnings are posted, such as: "Drive at your own risk: we mean it." "Check that your insurance policy is paid in full, and is increased to maximum coverages; umbrella policies encouraged." "Carry large sums of cash, as arguing and negotiating a cash settlement in stopped traffic with an angry Czech seems to be a national sport." "Make sure you have told all family members that you will always love them."

TRAVEL TIP #3: In this part of the world you must 1) forget anything previously learned or memorized about 'safe following distances,' 2) that traffic signs and lights are placed merely as a suggestion, and 3) that driving is truly an up close and personal experience.

For emphasis (and relief) - (b)

"Pitching a fit about the tent commandments." PRT (Parenthesis Reading Time) 1:23

“Don’t let the location throw you off. His office is really small and unimpressive.” This was the last piece of information provided before, when I finally went to a chiropractor here in the Twin Cities. It was time to deal with my array of aches; I don’t trust my “adjustments” to just anyone. My neighbor suggested him: “He’s a cracker and really knows how to move you into shape.” I like the guy a lot; how can you not like a guy listening to Jimi Hendrix and the Doors when you arrive? But, it was the comment about his office that struck me.

What’s with our obsession about the appearance of our places?

1. Our desire to upgrade, refurnish or move away from our aging homes to something more “current.”

2. Our desire to work in a “cool” office; with the latest Herman Miller adorned workstations or, if in management, the “preferred” office spots.

3. Our desire to attend those striking, dynamic and majestic places of worship. Or, when the membership has grown beyond the capacity of the high school auditorium or old storefront, the “campaign” to raise enough money for designing and building a bastion of tribute and worship.

If you are like me, you probably have some favorite movies and books of which you have partaken more than once. For me, movies like Rudy, Lord of the Rings, Dead Poet’s Society, Notting Hill (the character Spike is worth the whole film). Books like The Hobbit, The Fountainhead, anything by C.S. Lewis and that other one…you know, the Bible. I admit that (according to various research sources) I am one of the less than 10% of the people declared of Judeo-Christian faith who have read the bible from cover to cover, let alone more than once. I have completely read both testaments more than once (the number is not important here), and as with anything you see, read, hear or experience more than once you notice something new each time. For me, the latest to hit me was in the O.T. 1 Kings 5-7 in which Solomon builds the holy temple, fulfilling King David’s (Dad) wish to build this place of honor and tribute to his loving God. These three chapters give elaborate details of the preparation, design specifics, lavish adornments and building materials (including the harvesting and transport of wood from the Cedars of Lebanon. This is in and of itself a wonder. I know this first hand from my trip to Lebanon two years ago, where I was privileged to stand in the Cedars of Lebanon forest and visually experience the natural parameters and challenges for accomplishing such a distant task). The final temple (place of worship) for God was truly magnificent. Staggering. Lavish. As was Solomon’s palace he built for himself (home), as well as the quarters therein for his wives and key people (office).

The zinger got me while reading from N.T. Acts 7:44-50, where the prophet Stephen is defending himself eloquently before the Sanhedrin (right before getting stoned to death as a result), by sharing the O.T. history about Israel’s relationship with God. He says:

44"Our forefathers had the tabernacle of the Testimony with them in the desert. It had been made as God directed Moses, according to the pattern he had seen. 45Having received the tabernacle, our fathers under Joshua brought it with them when they took the land from the nations God drove out before them. It remained in the land until the time of David, 46who enjoyed God's favor and asked that he might provide a dwelling place for the God of Jacob.^[ 47But it was Solomon who built the house for him.

48"However, the Most High does not live in houses made by men. As the prophet says: 
 49" 'Heaven is my throne, 
and the earth is my footstool. 
What kind of house will you build for me? says the Lord. Or where will my resting place be? 
 50Has not my hand made all these things?'

So what? As leaders, learners, seekers and livers (not the chopped variety) we should consider:

1. Dig your digs. It was 480…count them, 480…years from the time Moses led the Israelites from Egypt till the time Solomon held his grand opening soiree for the Temple. Until then God hung out in a tent…just a tent. Sand. Camels. Complaining. The tabernacle endured longer than this majestic citadel of faith in Jerusalem, destroyed after 374 years .

2. Leaders seek big; the rest of us seek small and intimate. As a number of emerging leaders wisely note, a holy place for experiencing moments praising God is not directly proportionate to the size of your steeple. It comes from within the temple of your heart. The bigger we grow, the more important it is to consider finding places where we can become smaller. How and where we “exchange our goods” has little (if nothing) to do with handsome exteriors; and everything to do with humble interiors.

3. Your place or mine? Where you are right now, is exactly where you are supposed to be. If you are preoccupied with yearning for a “place” somewhere better, more important, with a better view or a more meaningful role…you risk missing the best of, value of, perspective of and meaning of what your present “place” holds.

Maybe we should stop pitching a fit. Try pitching a tent.

Campy thought?

For emphasis – (b)

"Call a Time Out!" PRT (Parenthesis Reading Time) 1:08

Get over it; there is no such thing as free time, spare time, discovered time or the many other terms we give to the excuses we give for not taking the time.

I just had an interesting (IM) exchange with a colleague who is facing the outcomes of our changing economy. As a part of my response to her (viable) laments about lost income and the future’s uncertainty, I suggested that some of my recent blog messages might offer her some valid reflection and encouragement. After a pause, she replied, “Well, now with the cutback I will have more free time and will be able to read some more.” She then added, “I will be able to spend more time with my kids and doing more of the mother thing.”

Hmmm…. Anything suspicious about this perspective? Have you ever heard yourself say something similar to the following: “Boy, when I can, I hope to find time to…

- sp - spend quality time with my spouse or priority relationship

- sp - spend quality time with my kids

- s - spend quality time with my friends and extended family

- sp - spend quality time with my co-workers

- sp - spend quality time exercising

- sp - spend quality time developing a talent or passion

- sp - spend quality time reading more

- sp - spend quality time in solitude

- - s - spend quality time with God.”

Hmmm…. A few things you might want to spend (any) time considering:

1. 1. Every decision we make as to where we invest the time we are given comes with a price: question to ask yourself is “What does it cost me if I do XXX…and what does it cost me if I don’t do XXX?”

2 2. The idea that someone “gives you the time” is a myth. The time is there; you must “take the time.” It is easy to blame…life for your not taking the time for the things that in your heart you want and know need you the most.

3. 3. The concept of “spending quality time” on anything you might have on your list, takes…spending the time you have. Duh! And if all the time you have is “pocket change”…it’s still change.

Remember, there’s a reason that the expression goes, “There’s not time like the present.” Take the gift. Open it. See, now you have time on your hands.

Spend it.

For emphasis.

(b)

"To Hip or not to Hop; that is the (moving) question." PRT (Parenthesis Reading Time) 1:39

OK, admittedly I totally do not get the whole Hip Hop thing. Try as I may to remain culturally relevant, I just cannot keep up with the lyrics, understand any more than every 6^th word and figure out why anyone’s name would be made from some combination of Snoops, Ice, Dogs and M&Ms. But here’s the bottom line thing for me: I do not get the moves. I totally agree with my African and Hispanic brothers & sisters that white men cannot dance…or jump.

Last Sunday I went to Living Stones  www.livingstonescov.org where a guest artist/leader named Agape (this name I get) led us through a morning of Hip Hop worship and praise. Actually, it was nothing of the sort: it actually resembled first day at basic training for Special Ops, Jazzercise on steroids or a conspiracy by the younger generation to lower the number of us Baby Boomers, thereby reducing the levels of visually boring clothing to which they are subjected.

Agape began with a seemingly harmless tune, before which he illustrated three “simple” moves so that we could join in with him. Within 20 seconds he broke into a series of moves that, instead of the intended worship-filled experience, resulted in what I think will be hip splinters (from bumping into the seatbacks in front of me) and a more aggravated Achilles Heel (I think I might need amputation) from the gyrations of trying to keep up. All this says nothing about the unADULTerated humiliation I felt amongst this ethnically rich group of mostly younger-somethings from attempting to prove I had a semblance of rhythm. AND, the house lights were turned up: ouch!

And then Agape did something even more amazing. He asked everyone to raise their hands if they had ever been called “stupid.” Hands (and mine) went up. If they had ever been called fat? Hands (and mine) went up. If they had ever been called ugly? Hands (and mine) went up. He shared his own stories and reminded us that the only opinion that really mattered was the One that created you and knows every hair on your head. And then he invited everyone to come up to the front where someone was there to embrace you, look into your eyes and tell you, “You are beautiful; God really loves you.”

I was moved.

So, let me ask you a question: Do you think that if we stopped worrying so much about how we look to others during those times we feel out of step, out of rhythm, out of place, out of sorts or out of our minds…that we might just break into unharnessed and uninhibited dancing in celebration of you and me? Crazy thought? It’s biblical, you know. Check out this historical rapper:

2 Samuel 14:22 

“14 David, wearing a linen ephod, danced before the LORD with all his might, 15 while he and the entire house of Israel brought up the ark of the LORD with shouts and the sound of trumpets.

 16 As the ark of the LORD was entering the City of David, Michal daughter of Saul watched from a window. And when she saw King David leaping and dancing before the LORD, she despised him in her heart….

 20 When David returned home to bless his household, Michal daughter of Saul came out to meet him and said, "How the king of Israel has distinguished himself today, disrobing in the sight of the slave girls of his servants as any vulgar fellow would!"21 David said to Michal, "It was before the LORD, who chose me rather than your father or anyone from his house when he appointed me ruler over the LORD's people Israel—I will celebrate before the LORD. 22 I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes. But by these slave girls you spoke of, I will be held in honor."  

So what? As leaders and branders and livers:

·      Being in step with the way things are done is the surest way to learn the current dance that everyone is doing. Make up your own dance and moves, like these other movers: Steve Jobs, Ghandi, Lee Iaccoca, Nelson Mandela, Mother Teresa, Fred Smith.

·      Being Hip works well as hype for selling clothing, shoes and new cars. However, driving real change and moving your story into the cultural groove will likely have people pointing fingers, laughing and thinking you have lost your mind; maybe like Moses, Jesus, Ben Franklin, Thomas Edison, Mary Anderson (windshield wipers), Steve Case (AOL), Hedy Lamarr (Spread Spectrum Technology aka Wireless Communication!), The Beatles, Larry Page and Sergey Brin (Google).

        HOPping to it does not mean spinning around on your head on the floor (DO NOT try this unsupervised or while intoxicated); but it can and should mean leaving peoples’ minds spinning by the sheer force of your vision, passion and relentless pursuit for living out your dream, gifting or calling; maybe like Michael Jordan, Princess Di, Elvis Presley, Rosa Parks, Mary Magdalene, Picasso, Helen Keller, Albert Einstein, Desmond Tutu, Anne Frank.

S     Spin it.

      For emphasis – (b)