"I'm suffering from constipation."

I have a case of writer's block. I'm clogged, cramped and uncomfortable.

Sure, you might say that moving to write this column entry is evidence to the contrary, however hear me out. I have not posted an entry since August 7, when I had just returned from a weekend of silence at the Abby of Gesthemani in Kentucky (see previous entry). To confirm my suspicion, I sought the bastion of all knowledge: the Wizard of Wiki:

For other uses, see Writer's block (disambiguation).

"Writer's block is a condition, associated with writing as a profession, in which an author loses the ability to produce new work. The condition varies widely in intensity. It can be trivial, a temporary difficulty in dealing with the task at hand. At the other extreme, some "blocked" writers have been unable to work for years on end, and some have even abandoned their careers. It can manifest as the affected writer viewing their work as inferior or unsuitable, when in fact it could be the opposite."

No question; I have it. The cause? Hard to diagnose, since the last months have been filled with fodder for inklings, including:
- My son and his wife are having a second child in April;
- I visited Oregon to celebrate my grandson Utah's first birthday;
- I am working to raise awareness and funding for Rocketown, the remarkable Nashville youth center started in 1994 by the renown contemporary Christian music artist Michael W. Smith - www.rocketown.com ;
- I finished writing my book about innovative leadership and high impact success, Get Out of Your Own Way;
- I committed the rest of my life to Lynn, an amazing woman with whom I exchanged marriage vows while standing in the Sea of Galilee during our 10-day biblical study a month ago in Israel.
- Lynn and I were busted for attempting to smuggle a contraband salami at the Newark airport customs upon our return trip from Israel (story to follow soon!).

There's plenty to write about, but I just can't seem to get unstuck. The pipes are jammed tight with scraps of discontent, doubt, indecision and even a bit of, "Oh crap, I'll be sixty years old in April and I'm still wondering what I'll be when I grow up." A lot of ambiguities. But, this morning something happened that stirred some internal movement; the first signs of an impending disambiguation (great word, disambiguation, meaning "to remove ambiguities").

I was moved while sitting on the...chair in my study. I was reading a wonderful book, Live Like You Mean It, written by my dear friend and mentor T.J. Addington. I met T.J. during a most tumultuous time in my life, when I was close to separatiing from my former wife, Valerie, and the "doom loop" spiral in which I was caught emotionally, professionally and spiritually. He was a client, the leader of the international mission for a Christian movement of 1400 churches and over 500 missionaries throughout the world. I helped him successfully re-craft the story of what became ReachGlobal. The bonus for me has been 1) the chance to travel the world to experience firsthand what we came to refer as GodSightings: evidence of the hand of God and His love at work through people throughout the world in some of its darkest corners, 2) working alongside healthy leaders building healthy environments and 3) to call him a colleague, mentor and one of my most treasured friends.

On December 4, 2007 T.J. checked into the St. Paul Hospital emergency room, having awaken early that morning unable to breathe. That began a forty-two-day stay, thirty-two of them spent in ICU and eighteen days in coma. Diagnosed with MRSA pneumonia, there were countless physical traumas when the doctors were almost certain he would not survive. T.J. is today as busy as ever traveling the world to serve God's call to develop, empower and release healthy leaders that will multiply in building healthy churches. He also finds time to write books, fly fish and spend time with his family. His life is testimony to the power of prayer (hundreds of people worldwide prayed for him during his journey "there and back again")...and what I have come to realize is the power of "if you feel it, do it, now!" One of my favorite passages from this book on this subject (the book's a must read for anyone needing a kick start) reads:

"As individuals, we often live life without much of a target. We respond to the demands of the moment, the job, the expectations of others, and the overwhelming busyness of life. But too many people get to the finish line with a long list of regrets.

We realize we didn't invest enough time in our children or marriage. We're sorry we did not have more time for deep relationships. We wish there had been more time for reflection and thinking. Now there is too little time for those things that suddenly are more important than the salary we pulled down or the ladder we climbed."

So what? I just returned yesterday from a weekend of silence during my second visit to the Abbey of Gesthemani. I guess you might say I was there because I woke up early one morning and couldn't breathe. In the sanctuary of chanting monks, steeple chimes and the snow-icing covered hills of Kentucky I checked out of the ICU: I Can Un-Constipate.

Write on.

Embraced in the brackets - (b)