38,000 feet. 0:47 minutes remaining. 547 mph . 11C. No seat in front. Extended leg room. Unable to sleep. 4:37 A.M. Amsterdam. Almost home.
The last six days spent in Kigali, Rwanda. A community embraced by champions for children; the sponsors and ministry of Compassion International. So many hungry images looping over, and over, and over.
A carousel of ivory sugared eyes and smiles that mock empathy. Caught, shackled by the moment you tumble into the ebony of their craving dreams. Lollipops, Fanta orange, Nesltes Crunch Bars… and their wonder of believing. They revel in simple treasures. They want what they have. They take what they're given. With grace. They don’t know any better. They know. They have. Nothing. Everything. They love. They relish every day what so many of us search for all week long. We find it momentarily between bejeweled words and exalted notes. We toss it into wicker baskets as they pass by, and rush off to Sunday brunches and plasma entertainment.
Poverty. They gave it away with open hearts and empty hands. I left with everything I had lost along the way.
Empty. I hunger for all the nothing that they have.
Through them and each other, we can give it a way. Restlessly.
(b)
Please take a moment and visit www.compassion.com and consider how you might be the whole story for the whole story of one child's life. You, too, can give it away.
The following is not an answer; it’s a question to trigger dialogue. Not a distraction from my work serving the many fronts in which I am engaged. Not a “rabbit trail” like the perceived many I have, admittedly, pursued in my years of sojourning. A moment of realization that I believe God has illuminated for deeper consideration, prayer and reflection. It is submitted to you, those that God has brought into my path to speak into what I feel is crystallization (some night refer to it as calling) defining each and every seemingly disjointed path I have taken thus far. It is also continued obedience to the model I have embraced from Henry Blackaby while in pursuit of experiencing the fullness of God: 1) be in the Word regularly, 2) be in prayer regularly and 3) surround yourself in community with other followers.
The following is so given for your consideration.
THE VERY MOMENT
A cold day in Iowa. Early winter. A 2-hour walk in solace and sanctuary across 60 acres of rolling hills. My whispered question: Lord, what do you need me to see, hear and know? How do you need me to pray to you?
Off in the distance, behind me and to my left I heard a soft moaning. I stopped and looked over my shoulder to identify source. A wounded deer? Farm dog? I didn’t see anything. I walked a few more steps and heard the sound again, but this time it sounded like a gentle, sugary voice. I stopped and looked over my shoulder to identify source. I didn’t see anything. And this time, before I resumed my walking I heard the sound, and there it was, revealed in a sacred moment of pause: the frosted breath of wind moving two gnarled oak trees so that the barnacled skin of their trunks rubbed against each other. A moment. A pause. An emphasis.
And then I knew.
What follows is the writing that I composed while sitting on a fallen body of oak. The ink defined; the punctuation mark placed on my life:
A MOMENT IN THE PARENTHESIS
My Question: What do you need me to do with this moment you have given me?
I do not need to hear the sound of your voice. Your heart speaks.
I want you.
I do not need you to figure out the path to take. Follow my footsteps; breathe in the intoxication of my dust.
I want you.
I do not need you to understand each other. Like when I move through the forest, I will whisper amongst you; when the bark of your lives rub up against each other it will fill me with the perfume of song.
I want you.
I do not need you to teach my words to my children. Let their letters, sounds and
pictures dance and play and embrace them; then they will feel, know and keep
dancing.
I want you.
I do not need you to judge each other in my name. I Am.
I want you.
I do not need you to do everything you think you need to keep doing to make things better, stronger, faster, holier. In your weariness you miss the quiet shoulder of my love. The ivory cradle of my arms. The pillow of my heart.
I want you.
I do not need you for anything.
I want for you everything.
Your Answer: Seek the parenthesis in every moment.
WHAT IS PARENTHESIS?
·An inserted moment given for emphasis;
·An insertion for emphasis within God’s narrative for life, living out the anointed part we are called to play;
·Pausing to fully experience the parenthesis’ Paradox of Faith and Life through
1.Gathering (Come together)
2.Sanctuary (Be still)
3.Prayer (ask, listen, act)
4.Prospecting (dig deeper and mine)
5.Activate (Do and Be)
·FIND(find yourself)LET (let others)GIVE (give it a way)
·Added emphasis found at the intersection of Faith and Life;
·A symbol of paradox; what’s found and known in between the extremes;
·A ministry expression of Pause, Insight and Release;
·An expression to Discover, Define and Deploy ThePower of (The) Story;
·A gathering point/place for Hi Impact leaders, innovators, activators “doing their lives in faith;”
·Hi Impact defined by 1) presence, 2) vision, 3) capacity, 4) resource, 5) activation.
TODAY'S QUESTION: Have you experienced moments of parenthesis? Share one of those moments that were clearly "inserted for emphasis" in your life.
Four years ago, on a brisk October day. Walking in sanctuary at Radnor Lake, Nashville. A wildlife refuge. A winding trail. I was wrestling with an incessant question: “Why is it that throughout my professional career when I believe that I might just have found a “home” where, like so many people I have envied through the years, I could use my full gifting and eventually retire and write books and teach in a small college…it all suddenly ends. Unexpectedly. Abruptly. Sadly.
And between my silent steps I would ask, “Why?” Silence.
“Why can’t I have a legacy of my own?” Silence.
“Why can’t I find a home where I really belong?” Silence.
“Why can’t I find that place where I can finish?” Silence.
Two hours of one-way conversation. No eye contact with errant trail hikers. Sitting on trail benches with the sense I would remain till God revealed something to me. Some hint. Some message. Even the slightest answer. Silence.
I was sitting on a bench near the end of the lake trail, a cartoon character trapped in clouds of thought balloons. And then I heard a stirring rising up inside me, an audible silence coursing through my veins and covering me in a linen parchment of words:
“Get up. Keep walking, Brian.” I stood up, turned obediently to my right and walked.
“You will not have a legacy that is your own. Yours is the woven legacy of others. To walk with them along their paths. To support their story.” I kept walking.
“You do not need a home and place of your own. You have had, do have and always will have the only home you need. In Me. I Am with you.” I kept walking.
“Not of this world. Not of this world. Keep walking.” I kept walking, And for the first time in my life career I felt contentment wash over me in the warm rain of knowing.
Last week my current working relationship with the EFCA in Minneapolis, became the past. Unlike more former transitions when moments of change like this would sting with the demons of rejection, frustration, fear, victimization, failure and loneliness… I stand up and keep walking. As my steps broaden the distance between what was and what is to come I leave with the imprints of lives left upon me that I cherish, and that have become an indelible line on the fingerprint of who I am. I pray that my time there has left even a few drips of ink that will endure. That the hard, good work our team began will be carried on by others with even more passion, creativity and commitment than that which I hope I brought and have now left behind. And I pray God’s continued favor for a group of devoted men and women who are fighting the fights that matter. With grace.
And so, I keep walking. And this time I welcome this moment given to me. This gift of pause. This inserted emphasis into my path. My parenthesis.
I welcome each of you who know me, worked with me, have recently met me and those who will come to know me, into my Parenthesis.
HI WAY DRIVERS WANTED: Today's and tomorrow's high impact solutions will be driven by High Impact leaders. They understand the power of story and intelligent thought architecture.
Drive on.
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