(b) in Parenthesis

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

“May(b) it still means something.”

I have a daily morning ritual that takes place around 6:58 (learning to be more intentional these days): I read the One Year Bible that gives me a dose of Old Testament-New Testament-Psalm-Proverb, a daily thought from Henry Blackaby, a daily offering from C.S. Lewis and finishing up with some quietly prayer-full thoughts. And then I write. So, recently on the morning of Labor Day, 2009 I was rummaging through my thought attic for some a new inkling; it was out of the corner of my eye that I noticed one of my journals misplaced on a shelf where it did not belong. Compact, black and leather-bound it created an imbalance with the larger books stack above. Feeling a tremor in the Force, I yanked it out. Sucker that I am for random discoveries, the book was oozing smokes of curiosity that drew me in (I can hear some of you chanting, “Like whoa, dude! That’s heavy.”).

The following is what I read; an entry I wrote one morning in 2006 while sitting at a Starbucks in Hong Kong. It reads (and speaks for itself):

5/6/06 Day 2 – Hong Kong

The first words I read after my ritual time reading scriptures was a passage from Hugh Prather’s Notes to Myself. “My prayer is: I will be what I will be. I will do what I do.” He ends with: “God revealed his name to Moses, and it was I AM WHAT I AM.”

I am what I am. I sip my non-fat latte in a Starbucks in Hong Kong realizing I am a foreigner, I do not speak the language and I feel perfectly at home. OK, maybe I’m fooling myself. I mean, come on, Starbucks and a “Good morning” with a Chinese lilt in the greeting. Maybe not so remote; just another side of the world. The comings and goings are the same. I fit, because I fit. I love the line, “It will be interesting to see what happens.” What a sense of freedom. Expression. Movement. Promise. Another Hugh Prather quote; really, this could be my credo: “There is a part of me that wants to write, a part that wants to theorize, a part that wants to sculpt, a part that wants to teach…. To force myself into a single role, to decide just one thing in life, would kill off larger parts of me. My career will form behind me. All I can do is take the step before me now, and not fear repeating an effort or making a new one.” So here I remain, still, at Starbucks. Reading and reflecting. I am getting the clear message about the power of solitude. I grow and learn so much in the sanctuary of my immovability. It’s where my soul produces vines with small beads of fruit that ripen with time. It is the place where I become the wine of God’s pressings.

Are you still doing the same thing? Trust me, you will never be the same doing the still thing.

For emphasis.
(b)

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

"Wanted: Read or Alive."

OK, I admit that since I entered the “single” category four years ago I have toyed with the idea of engaging this web-dating thing. I am a student of what defines “brand citizenship;” so, I am intrigued by how relationships ignite after our innermost and outermost beings get transformed into bits, bytes and are digitized beyond recognition (amazing what Photoshop can do with those extra pounds, barnacles and other True Confessions features). It’s the modern day viral “meet market.” Is this our chance to market our hearts and souls to other hearts and souls - for the sole purpose of filling in some of the empty rooms?

So, here’s my true confession: I chose one of the services (no, I am NOT telling which one!); it took me about a month to craft my story. The following is what I put out there, not sure what to expect. Curious as to who (or what) it might attract…

Not all who wander are lost. I am a writer, dreamer, painter and brand expressionist. As a professional adviser to large organizations I have had many titles over my 33-year career: Brand Expressionist, Wizard of Wonder(ing), Brand Sherpa, Idea Spelunker and currently Parenthetical Expressionist. As a writer and hopeless romantic I have journeyed, explored, dwelt along and continued exploring paths. I have (and continue to) travel. I am passionate about most everything to do with imagination and the catalysts that happens at the intersection of commerce and life. I am a "refurbishing" divorced man (three years...) who adores his best friend in the world, Bentley, my 8 year-old miniature dapple dachshund (he does not know he is a dog, mind you) who travels most places with me, is welcome in business meetings, goes with me to church (he's dyslexic and is convinced he's directly related to the GOD thing) and has a better attitude about life than most people I know. Yes, some people think I obsess about him; and he's worth every bit of my energy.

I am 58 years young, and average in most other descriptions, whatever the hell that means.. I strive to live as a humble man, so boasting is not my style. I love: Reading. Movies. Walking around lakes. Hiking. Solitude. Writing. Jazz. Classical. Travel. Dining. Single Malt Scotch. Grey Goose Martinis. Low Lights. Smoking my pipe. Being in the mountains. Cycling. Art. Diversity in everything.

I am a man who is trying to be a man of God, living and questioning, struggling and seeking to be the best version of myself among all God's children.

I listen. I hear. I see. I touch. I give. I want to receive.

So, this section of the application asks the question: "What is the ideal match." Well, as I think there is nothing that can be perfect, let's start with that fact in mind, and go from there. I adore:

a woman who sees and knows herself as a woman.
a woman who has a sense of style, class and timeless taste.
a woman who appreciates the stories behind the eyes.
a woman who treasures her time alone and celebrates and savors the moments in between.
a woman who knows that romance is made through stirring all the senses.
a woman who enjoys reading quietly with a man reading next to her on the couch. a woman who loves dogs.
a woman who loves movement. a woman who loves exploring.
a woman who speaks out her life most expressively without words.
a woman who sees God's hand and breath in everything.
a woman who knows what it is like being with an artist.
a woman who is not afraid to chase lions and admit her fear of things that go bump in the night.
a woman who does not turn away from direct eye contact.

A perfect match means spontaneity and anticipation without a schedule, without injured feelings when one or the other says "no" to an invitation, with imagination and the ability to say to yourself, "Wow, this looks cool, I'd love to share this with ____." And when you do not hesitate calling, regardless of the answer. I love witting, punning and finding the laughter in life's many ambiguities. I want to debate ideas and issues with the belief that it is not about winning, but about deepening and enriching the dialogue. I want to dress up and dress down.

I want to finally be able to answer the question that has haunted me my entire life: “What is true intimacy?”

The next step in the process was to simply click “Post” and send my soul out into the cyber-mist of anticipation, longing and vulnerability. I took a deep breath…and counted: One. Two. Three. And…never sent it.

So what? I realized that (when I reread my post) that this post was not meant for me looking for a woman to share my life. It reminded that this was the post for and from many, if not all of us. It’s about looking for a woman, man, friend, confidante, colleague, teammate, partner, protector, champion, teacher, guide, shepherd, sister, brother, mother, Father: Abba.

Amen.

Click. Post.

For emphasis.

(b)

Monday, November 2, 2009

"My newest ghoulfriend is grand, son."

What a treat it is to wander the cotton candied clouds of the imagination; especially through the skies found in the eyes of a 3-year-old boy. Halloween 2009, and I was luckiest "tricker" this year when I joined my grandson, John, Schbvonne, Grandma Valerie and Grandma Sharon (Schbvonne's mom; first visit to Nashville).

He was a pirate.